Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
