That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
