3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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