hell yes lets make some ravioli
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
