I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
