No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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