do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
