Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
