suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
