the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
