I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
