please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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