Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
