Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
