I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
