I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He felt like a one man threesome
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
