For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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