..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
