So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize