Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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