My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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