i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize