I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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