I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize