Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
