It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
