Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
