Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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