No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
