she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
