my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
