Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
