Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
