He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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