I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
