just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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