6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This is my gift to your gina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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