Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
