everyone is single if you try hard enough
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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