K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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