I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
