I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
