i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
