You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
