If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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