Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
