How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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