She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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