oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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