There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
