am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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