Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
