Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize