yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I understand Curling. That high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
