I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Randomize
