ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
