you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I love having hate sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
