some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
